This is what i have been doing recently,

browsing this site.

And i look at the dogs’ photos for a long time,

re and re-read the descriptions which their owners have included.

And wonder,

what circumstances have made their owners give them up.

Most of the owners have to be forced,

who else would keep a dog for close to 10 years,

only to give it up?

If it is someone who was in for the cuteness,

the dog would have been abandoned ages ago.

No,

these were heart-broken people,

whose hands were forced,

forced to let go of their beloved companions.

And i tried to understand,

how they feel,

but i only meet a brick wall.

I cannot feel for them,

maybe it is because it is so painful,

the heart will not bear it,

the head will not hear of it.

I tried to visualize putting Kel’s photo up,

and i feel quite physically sick.

I am so afraid of what tomorrow brings.

What if Kel howls her head off tomorrow morning,

when i leave for work?

What options do i have left?

There are laws for debarking a dog.

You can only debark a dog if euthanasia is the only other option.

So if Kel does not behave,

she will have to go.

If she goes,

i am not staying.

I will be taking Dax,

and we will move into an apartment near the city.

Staying in a house this big,

with an attached backyard would be pointless.

It was all meant for Kel.